Navigating Big Emotions
Oct 27, 2022
[This is the transcript of Session 5 at the Emotional Intelligence Online Summit 2022 with Corey Gaidzionis.]
For the last two years, we've lived through this experience that we have called CoViD. It's been different depending on where you come from and how you were affected. Here in Western Australia, we were relatively sheltered from the worst of it for much of that period — and then, when it arrived, it arrived all at once.
What COVID revealed — among many things — is that most of us were not well equipped to navigate big emotions. Anxiety, grief, uncertainty, isolation, anger — these arrived in waves, often without warning, and our usual coping strategies were frequently unavailable.
What Are Big Emotions?
Big emotions are the ones that feel overwhelming — the ones that seem to take over our thinking, cloud our judgement, and make us behave in ways we later regret or feel disconnected from. They are not bad emotions. They are intense ones. And intensity is not the problem — the absence of skill in navigating that intensity is.
A Framework for Navigation
Name it to tame it. Research by Dr. Dan Siegel and others shows that simply naming an emotion — labelling it accurately — activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces the intensity of the limbic response. You literally calm your brain by naming what you feel.
Create space between stimulus and response. Big emotions feel urgent. They demand immediate action. Learning to insert even a brief pause — a breath, a brief walk, a moment of stillness — interrupts the automatic escalation and creates room for choice.
Seek connection, not isolation. When big emotions arrive, the instinct is often to withdraw. Research consistently shows that social connection is one of the most powerful regulators of emotional intensity. Reaching out, even briefly, reduces the weight of what we are carrying.
At People Builders, we help individuals and organisations develop the skills to navigate big emotions with greater effectiveness. Contact us today for a quick chat.